BUT AND IF THOU DIVORCE, HAST THOU SINNED?
By Pastor Tom Cochran
(The following is a sermon that has been edited to post)
To begin, the following scriptures should be read:
I Corinthians 7:10-16, 27-31
I Corinthians 7:28, "But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you."
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, divorce has been increasingly on the rise throughout this past century. For instance:
In 1900, 1 divorce for every 20 marriages,
In 1920, 1 " " " 12 "
" 1940, 1 " " " 6 "
" 1960, 1 " " " 4 "
" 1972, 1 " " " 3 "
By 1977, there were 2,176,000 marriage licenses issued in the U.S., while 1,090,000 divorces were granted. A ratio of 1 to 2!
Someone said, "With so many divorces today, you would think that when a lot of people were married they were MIS-pronounced ‘man and wife.'"
A Hollywood wedding is one where they take each other for better or for worse—but not for long! A couple in Hollywood got divorced; then they got remarried. The divorce didn't work out.A woman who had been married for seventy years filed for divorce. The judge asked, "Why?" She said, "Enough is enough."
I was having lunch with a missionary one time who seemed to just be looking for someone to talk about, when the name of a certain preacher came up. That missionary's eyes lit up as he quickly leaned over the table and said, "He's been divorced and remarried, you know." I leaned back over the table, mimicking his actions, and said, "So have I." After the initial shock, he began to stammer about how some preachers had a hard time accepting that, but not him (don't you know!).
Now, a lot of controversy has arisen about this topic, and after having dealt with the subject for nearly thirty years, I want to discuss the five general positions on DIVORCE.
They are as follows:
POSITION # 1 --- DIVORCE IS ALWAYS A SIN
(Rom. 7:1-2)
“Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law,) how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath a husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.”
POSITION # 2 --- DIVORCE IS NOT GOOD, BUT IS SOMETIMES ALLOWED
(Matthew 5:32)
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Luke 16:18 says basically the same thing.)
See also Mark 10:1-12
Webster defines "fornication” as: "any unlawful sexual intercourse, including adultery; a forsaking of the true God and worshiping of idols."
POSITION # 3 --- DIVORCE IS ALL RIGHT SOMETIMES
Because, GOD IS DIVORCED! (Now, don't get aggravated with me; read the verses!)
His reasons were:
A. Adultery
(Jer. 3:8)
“And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.”
B. Extreme Wickedness
(Jer. 3:2)
“Lift up thine eyes unto the high places, and see where thou hast not been lien with. In the ways hast thou sat for them, as the Arabian in the wilderness; and thou hast polluted the land with thy whoredoms and with thy wickedness.”
C. Refusal to repent, admit, or even be ashamed of actions
(Jer. 2:35; 3:3,8)
“Yet thou sayest, Because I am innocent, surely his anger shall turn from me. Behold, I will plead with thee, because thou sayest, I have not sinned.”
“Therefore the showers have been withholden, and there hath been no latter rain; and thou hadst a whore’s forehead, thou refusedst to be ashamed.”
(verse 8 see above)
D. Abandonment
(Jer. 3:7) — SHE BROKE THE CONTRACT
“And I said after she had done all these things, Turn thou unto me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it.”
E. Note Isaiah 50:1, "Thus saith the LORD, Where is the bill of your mother's divorcement, whom I have put away? or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away."
POSITION # 4 --- DIVORCE IS SOMETIMES DEMANDED BY GOD
(Ezra 9:1-3)
“Now when these things were done, the princes came to me, saying, The people of Israel, and the priests, and the Levites have not separated themselves from the people of the lands, doing according to their abominations, even of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites.
For they have taken of their daughters for themselves, and for their sons: so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the people of those lands: yea, the hand of the princes and rulers hath been chief in this trespass.
And when I heard this thing, I rent my garment and my mantle, and plucked off the hair of my head and of my beard, and sat down astonied.”
(10:2-4,8)
“And Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, answered and said unto Ezra, We have trespassed against our God, and have taken strange wives of the people of the land: yet now there is hope in Israel concerning this thing.
Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law.
Arise; for this matter belongeth unto thee: we also will be with thee: be of good courage and do it.”
(8) And that whosoever would not come within three days, according to the counsel of the princes and the elders, all his substance should be forfeited, and himself separated from the congregation of those that had been carried away.”
POSITION # 5 --- DIVORCE SOMETIMES BRINGS A SPECIAL BLESSING
(Matt. 19:29)
“And everyone that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.”
(Mark 10:29-30)
“And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake and the gospel’s,
But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.”
(Luke 14:26)
“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.”
(18:29-30)
“And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God’s sake,
Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting.”
A preacher in Tennessee received a letter from a Muslim who had heard the gospel, whose heart was touched, and he was saved. Not only was he saved, he made a total commitment to the Lord's service. The villagers began to persecute him. Finally, his own father and mother drove him from their home and disowned him. At the time he had written, he had no place to go, no place he could call home.
Then, there's the precious little girl I read about. She had never been in church because her parents were atheists who despised the name of Christ. One day she passed a church door on the way home and heard the sound of singing. The song was so beautiful, unlike anything she had heard, and she was drawn inside. There she heard the Old, Old Story for the first time, and her young heart readily opened to receive Jesus as Saviour. She was happy, so very happy. The story she had heard for the first time was so thrilling and beautiful that she thought her parents would surely rejoice to hear it. So, she ran home to tell them, and found them in a drunken stupor. Breathlessly she told them about Jesus and how she had trusted Him as her Saviour. Hard, rebellious hearts had made them angry against the God they claimed not to believe existed, and alcohol had robbed the reason from their brains. In a mindless rage they beat her with a rawhide rope until she was unconscious, and continued beating her until the life hung by just a breath in her bloody little body. Finally, the combination of rage and exertion restored some reason to them, and they were horrified at what they had done. They rushed her to a hospital, but it was too late; she died in just a few hours. Shortly before she died, she asked her mother to bring her dress she had worn when beaten and a pair of scissors. The mother did, and she cut out the bloodiest part and clutched it to her breast. Broken with grief, her mother asked, "Why are you doing that? Why do you hold it that way?" The little girl's answer (her last words as far as we know) was, "I am going to see Jesus now. One day He shed His blood for me, and I want to show Him that I also bled for Him."
And there's the letter that a preacher in Bristol, TN, received. It was from Kaduna, Nigeria. It said, "The continuous harassment of Christians in this city has been too alarming. In May and June (1992) there was yet another occurrence of religious riot in Kaduna that rendered 2,029 people dead...Twenty five churches were burnt to ashes and 156 buildings of Christians were set ablaze by the MUSLIMS, (including) our house...All our belongings were gutted by fire. We were left with only the clothes we wore out on the fatal day of the incidents...."
As far as the little girl goes, folks say, "Oh, what a brave, wonderful child. What blessings she will receive in Heaven. Amen! That's what Jesus was talking about when He promised unique and special blessings to those who are rejected by family for His name's sake!"
The brethren say, "Bless God, we need to help the young man in Nigeria who was driven from home and family for Christ's sake. And, surely we have to encourage the preachers and other Christians whose lands and houses have been burned and taken from them for His blessed Name's sake!"
We say, "ABSOLUTELY!", and of course that precious child will receive manifold rewards from the Master, and yes, we must encourage those dear, dispossessed Christians to go on; and we can't help praising them that they love Christ so much that they were willing to give up even father and mother and brothers and sisters for Him!
BUT WAIT, there are more stories.
For example, there is the dear lady whose husband continually beat her. Many times he would hold her down and put out his cigarettes on her face. Finally, she divorced him and married a good Christian man who loves and cherishes her....And there is the faithful preacher whose wife was often found in bed with various men when he returned from meetings....And the multitude whose wives have demanded, "Leave the ministry or I will leave you." A lot of them left the ministry, but many others obeyed God and lost their wives.
All over the world, and throughout history men and women who have trusted Christ have been divorced and disowned (most often by Catholics and Muslims!).
Many times I have heard the "brethren" say, "Well, they sinned when they left, or were left by their husbands and wives. Those that married again have two living spouses and are living in adultery. They certainly can't continue to preach, especially as a pastor, or be deacons or Sunday School teachers. They are going to lose their rewards for being divorced."
DID WE HEAR RIGHT? LET'S GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN!
Christ said He would give unique and manifold blessings to those who, for His sake, lose houses and lands. (All would agree, heartily and enthusiastically.)
He promised the same manifold rewards for those who lose brothers and sisters. (All agree!)
He promised the same blessings and rewards to those who lose their father and mother and children for His name's sake. (And, all choked up, everyone agrees.)
He promised the identical unique, manifold rewards and blessings for those who lose their wives for His name's sake, right? I said, RIGHT?
Folks, do you think Jesus mis-spoke Himself?
This is one of the most ignored of the Lord's teachings, because it shatters one of the theological myths which has long been held by the "brethren." You see, the brethren have their pet theories and "convictions"---written in stone, too!---until something happens in their personal lives to challenge them.
When asked if their pet theories would apply under different circumstances and in different times and places than those with which they are familiar, they often say, "I hadn't thought of that." Well, think about this:
Right after my wife and I married, we visited my old church. A young preacher friend of mine just happened to be preaching that day. Knowing that my new bride and I were in the congregation, he just couldn't resist remarking, "Well, bless God, I'll tell you one thing. If my wife ever left me, I'd never get married again." Which, of course, was a rather unnecessary and foolish thing to say. (I've learned that, the only thing that prevents some folks from feeling inferior to others is to think, "Well, at least I haven't been guilty of that!' when they have often been guilty of something else as bad or worse. Oftentimes, the only difference is that the "something else" has been hidden from the eyes of the public!)
"I love my wife, but if it comes to a choice between her and my call to preach, she'll have to go!" — Yeah, yeah, how often have we heard those foolish words spoken?
Foolish, because:
1. They suggest the wife is pressuring him to quit,
2. They call unwarranted attention and question to her,
3. If she is in rebellion, they make it worse.
However, the same guys who say that kind of thing are usually the very first to say of the preacher who actually had to make such a gut-wrenching decision, "He's disqualified. A divorced man can't preach," or "As long as he doesn't marry again, he can preach, but he can't pastor."
Well, you can't have it both ways. He can't choose to obey the call of God rather than the demands of the wife to abandon the call, IF he insists that his choice to obey God automatically disqualifies him from obeying God!
Is it ever right to disobey God? I mean, come on. Does God disqualify somebody from service because he obeys God rather than a wife or husband? Is it ever right to disobey God? Is human authority ever higher than God's authority?
BRUTALITY: What would you say to your son or daughter? That is, what about the spouse and children who are brutalized or murdered? "Well, it's never right to divorce," they often say. But, God did it. He made His people do it on a wholesale level in EZRA.
But consider this:
A California woman's husband took a mistress, and meanwhile he beat and threatened his wife regularly. One day, he shot her several times and left her for dead. Miraculously, the woman, cultured and elegant, recovered. She divorced the bum.
Would you have her go back to him? To be beaten and shot again? What would you tell your daughter if she was married to a man like that? Or your son, if his wife were a drunken wretch who answered every kindness with screaming and cursing—and finally shot him to death, as happened in a 1990 incident?
Is this what you want for YOUR grandchildren?
Years ago in North Carolina, a brutal father repeatedly beat a little four-year old son. After one beating, the broken little fellow lay on the floor in awful pain. He said, "Daddy, I don't want to live anymore." The sorry animal replied, "Then why don't you die," as he stomped full on the child's abdomen on his way to the refrigerator for another beer. The little boy died within the hour.
I can only say to those who so smugly and self-righteously trumpet the wickedness of all who divorce for any reason, "Let's talk about YOUR daughter and YOUR grandchildren. Let's hear you thunder out, "I don't care if he does stomp them to death and shoot you! You take my grandchildren and go back to your husband. It is never right to divorce!"
How about this one:
In 1993, two young boys neither of whom was yet in his teens, collaborated to shoot their abusive father. He had continually beaten and raped them. Then, he raped their ten-year-old sister. To protect their sister and themselves from further abuse and no doubt death, they shot him.
We don't know why the mother stayed with the wicked bum. Maybe she was terrorized and didn't know what to do. But, do you think she should have divorced the animal and taken her children away? Not according to the good, godly, dedicated, once-married brethren. They, one and all, applauded the boys for being brave enough to take matters in their own hands. But never, no never, they say, is it right to divorce. Let the children kill the abusive parent–that's commendable–but don't dare divorce such a man and take the children out of the home.
OR, how about this one:
A preacher, back where I'm from, also has a Christian school. One day, one of his fourth-grade girls asked to talk to him. Her parents were divorced and she lived with her father. For a long while she had been afraid to speak out, but now she told him her troubled tale, sobbing all the while, of what happened each time she visited her mother. Her mother, a drunk and dope-head, commonly had several boyfriends in, and the little child was forced to watch while they got drunk and high, and engaged in multiple sex orgies with her mother. Some of them always molested her in various ways. What gave her the courage to overcome her fear, however, was not her own ordeal, but that of her baby brother. Not yet a year old, her mother's boyfriends force-fed the infant hard drugs while the drunken, doped up mother looked on and laughed with them.
All right, Mr. (or Mrs.) "It's-Never-Right-To-Divorce," what if that were YOUR little granddaughter and infant grandson? You say, "Well, tough it out!" Come on, would you really say that to your son or daughter if they were married to that kind of a mate? "Well, mine ain't married to nobody like that." — Yeah, but, WHAT IF....?
Go ahead, tell me what advice you would give.
By the way, many of the "brethren" have seen their sons and daughters, and grandchildren endure just such circumstances—and many are at this very moment enduring such ordeals. You would be surprised at how many of them have changed their tunes and eaten their words when THEIR children and THEIR grandchildren found themselves in that kind of a mess.
Folks say, "Your examples are ‘far out.' Such things almost never happen."
No, they are not. Look around you. Read the newspaper; open your eyes.
Some of these stories came from Dr. Roy Branson, in his two-volume book, But and if Thou Marry, Thou Hast Not Sinned. In commenting on this subject, Dr. Branson went on to say:
"There is a dainty little circle in which many fundamentalists, conservatives and evangelicals travel, and never step nary a foot outside. Thus, they tend to judge everything and apply every standard they hold to that single little circle. When any question arises, they climb the steps to their insulated little "ivory tower" and survey their "vast domain" and make decrees based solely on what they see."
It reminds you of the egotistical prisoner who was confined to a windowless box 2 feet wide, 5 feet long, and 6 feet high. "I am master of all I survey!" he cried. Then, an angry, veteran rattlesnake crawled in through a hole in the bottom.
SUMMARY — The five positions on divorce:
1. Divorce is ALWAYS a sin.
2. Divorce is not good, but SOMETIMES allowed.
3. Divorce is even ALL RIGHT sometimes.
4. Divorce is sometimes DEMANDED by God.
5. Divorce sometimes brings a SPECIAL BLESSING.
Which position do YOU take?
Any discrepancies in quotations, references, or scripture is unintentional. All scripture renderings are taken from the King James Version.
(Any questions or comments can be posted below, or the writer can be reached by e-mail at: jcochran45@cox.net/ )
